Friendship Woes: Jealousy vs. Envy

According to vocabulary.com "evny is when you want what someone else has, but jealousy is when you're worried someone's trying to take what you have." Like my daddy used to say "Well I'll be John Brown." (whatever that means) LOL.. I don't know about you, but I thought that these two words were one in the same. How many times have you mistaken your friends envy for jealousy, or vice versa? Let's break this down and save some friendships from the "JE Bug" or break some up for that matter.

AT SOME POINT YOUR BEST FRIEND HAS BEEN BOTH JEALOUS AND ENVIOUS:

Let me be BLOUNT! We have all at one point, been jealous and or envious of something when it comes to our friends. Example, your friend just bought a new shirt that you have been eyeballing for weeks. On top of that, she gets to wear this shirt on a date with her new beau. Not only do you want something she has, she is also going out with someone else who could potentially take all the free time she had for you away. Ain't that a bih? This is a scenario that is so common, we don't even think about it this deep, but you did feel some type of way about it. I just used a shirt and new love interest as an example. You can insert anything in this scenario but the bottom line is that TRUE FRIENDS will feel envy or jealousy for a little while, then turn around and say "I'll just borrow that shirt and be the maid of honor if this guy works out." Hopefully something this small won't break up your friendship. If so, it wasn't worth saving anyway.

IS YOUR FRIEND REALLY JEALOUS AND ENVIOUS OR IS IT JUST YOU WANTING THEM TO BE:

Sometimes your friends are neither of these things, but in your head they are. Now why would a "friend" want another "friend" to have these emotions towards them? If you are this person you need to put on your sparkly Michael Jackson (rest his soul) glove and start singing man in the mirror, because it has nothing to do with your friends. It's all about you boo. If you live your life to one up your friend, then YOU are the one who is bitten by the "JE Bug" (I made that up myself). No one, I repeat NO ONE should live their life just to one up the next person. You should live your life to one up yourself. You are your own competition. Live each day to be a better you then you were the day before! When you live to be a better somebody else then you have wasted the opportunity to use the tools GOD has given you for YOUR purpose.

IF YOU ALWAYS GOT SOMETHING NEGATIVE TO SAY ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS LIFE, THEN ITS TIME FOR YOU TO GET YOUR OWN (GRAB A COUPLE OF SEATS WHILE YOU'RE AT IT:

People like this usually say things like, "Since she got a new man, she been acting different" or "since she joined that sorority she changed." When in actuality you have changed and have been acting differently. News flash GROWN people, we need to understand that life events CHANGE people. (sometimes for the better and sometimes not). A true friend would have a talk with this person and let them know how they are feeling. I have heard of situations where this happens and the receiving person would say "Oh, you are just jealous." Hold up, pump your brakes...This is a big no no in relationships. Throwing around the J word can lead to some serious tension in the friendship. So what, maybe that person is a jealous or envious, but its not your job to tell them what they are feeling. Instead, ask them why they feel that way and build dialect from there. Trust me, this approach will lead to a much better outcome.

IF YOU FEEL THE "JE BUG" DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP, TALK YOURSELF THROUGH IT:

These feelings are perfectly normal, and trust me you are not alone in feeling them. Instead of trying to suppress the feelings, talk yourself through it. Ask yourself, "why do I fell this way?" "what will help me not have these feelings anymore?" Be honest with yourself. That is the first step to getting through it. It may take a few hours or a few days but you will get through it if you are true to yourself and trust God's plan. One of the biggest things you have to remember in times like these is that God knows best and your time is coming. Be patient and wait on Him. Time spent being Jealous or envious of someone else, is time taken away from building your own dreams in life.

I say all that to say this...If you are ever bitten by the "JE Bug" Do what grandma used to do. Rub some calamine lotion on that itch and keep it moving LOL. Now get out there and do what???

LIVE BLOUNT-ly