Of Course They’re Not Perfect; But They May Be Perfect For You

Come on, sing it with me “Nobody’s perfect, uh nobody’s perfect aye aye, uh, but you’re perfect for me.” Thank you Missy Elliott and J. Cole for those lyrics! Those words couldn’t be any more true. Let’s keep it BLOUNT…People out here looking for the “perfect” mate and guess what? Newsflash: Your behind ain’t perfect so what makes you think you are going to find another perfect person! Let me just say that there is a difference between a “perfect mate” and “YOUR perfect mate”. Let’s break that down:

THERE IS SOMEBODY FOR EVERYBODY:

How many times have you looked at other people and say to yourself “how she/he got a boo looking like that?” Hey! You! Stop looking over there! See that’s the problem, you have no idea what that person had to do in order to be in that relationship so stop worrying about that and “focus on yourself”. I am a firm believer that God has someone for everybody no matter if they are around the corner or around the world, they are out there, trust me. It’s funny that when my husband and I compare stories about all the colleges that offered us sports scholarships we have the same schools on our list. I know that it was God’s plan that allowed us to cross paths. In my Sophia voice “When I seent him, I know’s there’s a Gawd.” LOL Never in a million years did I think that this man would be my husband as fine as he is, and let him tell it he would NEVER marry a Miami girl, but God had other plans for our lives and here we are almost 18 years later.

It may seem like a hard job trying to find that special someone for you, but to be honest it always seems to happen when you aren’t searching. The most important thing is that you start by looking in the mirror and making sure that you are putting your best self forward. If you don’t truly know yourself, then what makes you think you know what you want in a mate (other than the surface, shallow things)?

WE ALL HAVE THINGS WE NEED TO WORK ON:

Going back to my first statement, “nobody’s perfect” that includes you! No matter how highly we think of ourselves, we all have flaws. The question is what flaws are you able to improve on. For example, trying harder to be on-time, or listening before reacting. These are all things that come with self-reflection. Look at all the things that bother you and that you absolutely won’t tolerate and then make sure that you are not the one carrying those characteristics. You can’t expect a person to not do the very things you hate and you turn around and do them yourself, come on now. For instance, my husband is always late. It used to bother me so much. So what did I do? Tell him a time that was at least an hour before the actual start time. He eventually caught on to what I was doing and I see that he is now trying harder to be on time. Now he is the one waiting on me sometimes…I’m working on that LOL. Its things like this, where you have to ask yourself is this really a flaw that I am willing to throw away a potentially great relationship for? For some the answer is yes, but you have to make that determination for you. Only you know what you can tolerate, which leads me to my next point.

WHAT WORKS FOR YOU, DOESN’T WORK FOR EVERYONE:

People on the outside looking in will always have an opinion about YOUR relationship. Whether they choose to express that opinion to you or not is up to them, but you have the power to listen, or shut it down. We all have to be respectful of other people’s relationships, and know that what one person may tolerate, another person may not. Now I’m not talking about abuse or anything like that, NO ONE SHOULD EVER TOLERATE THAT! But there are some that do. This is a sensitive topic so you have to use your own judgement when dealing with situations like that. I’m speaking more on the lines of things like the mentality that a woman should take care of the house and not work. Something along those lines is based on preference. Some women don’t mind this way of thinking in a mate so this wouldn’t be a con for them. It’s not rocket science, but if a guy has all the qualities you want in a mate (handsome, a professional, respectful etc.) but wants his woman to stay at home and play that role, and you are an independent woman used to making your own money, doing what you want, when you want; this probably isn’t the guy for you. Find someone who is on the same page with you, someone who matches your fly, but never settle for something that you know will make you miserable. You have to find balance.

DO THE PERFECTIONS OUTWEIGH THE IMPERFECTIONS?:

Finally, we all have to live with our decisions. The good thing is that God ALWAYS gives us signs before we make decisions. It’s our job to be still and listen to them. You are the only one who can determine what you are willing to tolerate from a future mate. Don’t let your friends, family or anyone set YOUR standard. If someone really loves you, they will be willing to do what it takes to make you and keep you happy; you have to be willing to do the same. If you are having a hard time determining if you should give this person a chance, make an honest, transparent list of the pros and cons. This only works if you are completely honest with yourself. Does the good outweigh the bad? Are there things on the bad side that aren’t really so bad and with communication can be improved on? The fact of the matter is that relationships are HARD and life is way too short to be unhappy. It’s important to find someone who makes your happy more than anything else. When you find that person you will know. It will be almost effortless to love that person. Just know that your mate will never be perfect, but they will be perfect for you!

Live BLOUNT-ly