Hey Stranger...

We all have them, that “friend” who you don’t hear from for weeks at a time. You know the one who reaches out you when everyone else is busy, they need something or they are trying to spill the tea. You see them being all social with everyone else on social media so you know they are ok. They seem to find the time to reach out to everyone else but you and you can’t help to but wonder why. I don’t know about you, but it used to make me feel some type of way. The good thing is that it doesn’t anymore and that is another indication of how God is working on making me better. Here are a few things to think about when you are all up in your feelings:

When people show you who they are…believe them:

By no means am I saying that you have to talk to your friends every day. Life happens, we all get busy. The important thing to look for is patterns. For example, if you have a friend that every time they get booed up they go ghost that has nothing to do with you, it’s just their pattern. I have said it once and I will say it again, an important trait of being a good friend is recognizing the characteristics of those in your circle. Once you do that, it’s up to you how you will respond. Think about when you first meet someone and they have the stank face on. Are you the type of person who would say, I’m not trying to get to know that person, or are you the type to say hey, maybe they are just having a bad day, let me give them a chance? Remember we all have a choice in who we surround ourselves with, pay attention and choose wisely.

Do your friends value you:

When someone really values you they show it. Not everyone shows value the same way so it’s up to you to determine how you categorize your value to someone. For me, I can tell how much my friends value me by our conversations and interactions. Not all interactions with friends are the same. There is no way they can be when you are dealing with different personalities. A simple “I love you sis” text can go a long way. Showing how much you value someone doesn’t have to be a grand gesture (although those are nice) it’s the little unexpected things that can demonstrate the biggest love. Once you have determined how much you feel a person values you, it will provide a clear understanding of their actions towards you. Understanding leads to freedom from having your feelings hurt.

How much effort are you willing to give:

This thing called friendship is never one sided. It takes effort on both parts. The phone works both ways. If a friendship is one-sided, then you really have to evaluate if this thing is worth your best efforts and cooperation. Always being the understanding one is hard work. Always being the one to compromise is unfair. People get tired and when they do, they may not always voice their feelings, they may just walk away. The amount of effort you give to keep a friendship alive is a choice. Some people just choose to try a little longer. If you see that your friend is trying hard to stay connected, that means that they value your friendship. Make sure you don’t recognize the effort too late. Sometimes there is no turning back after you have neglected the other person.

All in all we have to remember to treat people how we want to be treated. You cannot expect someone to drop everything to be there for you when the effort has not been reciprocated. Do not take advantage of those you know will do anything for you as a friend, you may turn around one day and they won’t be there. So remember, when it comes to your friends, believe them, value them, make an effort and most importantly…

Live BLOUNT-ly