Closure You May Never Receive

You ever wonder why someone you thought you were very close with, just stops communicating with you suddenly? You have no idea what happened and when you try to reach out to them they ignore you? Well I don’t know about you, but I know that this hurts me to my core. You would think that if you are friends with someone and you did something to hurt them, they would tell you right??? WRONG!!! So what do you do?

Replay your last interaction:

At this point, you are analyzing your every move and conversation…what did I say? What did I do? Guilt starts to take over and you don’t even know if it was actually something you did. You try to find out if the person is ok from mutual friends without revealing that something is off between you. Discreetly gathering clues to see if they mentioned anything to anyone else.

You continue to try and reach out:

You may like a social media post they did, or you send a funny message that reminds you of them, in hopes for some glimmer of light or indication that they aren’t mad at you. You look for a sign that you hope reassures you that if they are mad, it’s not at you.

You become sad:

This is when reality hits that this person may never be your friend again. You replay the good times and start to question your role as that person’s friend. You ask, were they just using you? Were they ever your friend at all? How could they treat me of all people this way?

You become angry:

You say man, forget them. I’m better off without them anyway…one less birthday gift I have to buy. But deep down inside you don’t want to lose them as a part of your life. You are angrier at the fact that someone you called your friend didn’t have the courage to confront you about something they feel so strongly about. During the anger phase is where you have to practice the most self-control. You have to control your actions, the facial expressions and your emotions to make them hurt as much as they hurt you.

You move on:

Taking one day at time, resisting the urge to call that person, comment on their posts or look at pictures you’ve taken over the years. You start healing yourself slowly from a hurt you never thought would come. You start to build other relationships outside of that circle. You believe you have done all you can on your end.

You realize it had nothing to do with you:

Most people are battling issues we never know anything about. Well... how could that be if we were friends? Believe it or not your friends don’t always tell you their struggles for various reason and that has NOTHING to do with you. That is an aspect of their life they need to work out. Unfortunately it could cause lots of hurt and broken friendships.

You realize you may not ever receive closure:

My grandmother always said that the Lord works in mysterious ways. As I get older, I realize this to be truer with each passing day. God protects us in ways we may never see and situations like these are no exception. The hardest thing to do as humans is to accept the fact that we may never get the answers we are searching for. It takes faith to trust that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. The only thing left to do is ask God for peace with the situation, and move on with your life. We can’t let the thoughts and feelings of certain situations occupy our minds. We have to clear that space for blessings that are coming so that we can…

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