How to Overcome Self-Doubt

One of the worse things we can do to ourselves is doubt our ability to be great. Personally I have doubted myself on more than one occasion, but as I get older I find it imperative to learn how to overcome self-doubt. We have to remember that we are all examples to someone else, whether we know it or not. You may be an example to your significant other, child, parents, friends or co-workers, but trust and believe that someone is always taking notes of your actions. So why not give them something great to talk about.

I decided to write about this particular topic, because my daughter is dealing with this issue right now. This is her first year as a varsity cheerleader and also her first time tumbling in a routine. She knows how to do it; she just doesn’t want to let her team down in case she falls. For 6 weeks straight I have had the same conversation with her about just doing it and not thinking about it. I came to the realization last week that nothing I said or anyone else said for that matter was going to make her not doubt her ability. Everyone on her team believes in her, but her self-doubt is so strong it is blocking her from being great. Here are a few things I did say to her that I hope she will reflect on and eventually overcome her self-doubt (we didn’t pay all this money for her not to be great) LOL:

TRUST YOURSELF BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, TRUST GOD:

Have confidence in your God-given ability. Once you trust that God will never put more on you than you can bear, that’s when you can truly be successful. We often say we have faith and trust God, but if you have any doubt in your head, you truly don’t have the faith you thought you did. It sounds cliché but “let go and let God.” It is often the scariest thing we have to do in life. Trust something you can’t see.

NOTHING FAILS BUT A TRY:

If you never try, how do you know that you are going to fail? When I was thinking about writing a blog, I talked myself out of doing it a million times. Questioning my ability to translate my thoughts to a forum others would understand and enjoy. Nothing anyone said for a long time made my self-doubt go away. I had plenty of encouragement from my family, and friends who believed in me more than I believed in myself. Then one day I just said “bump it, what do I have to lose?” The answer was nothing. I had to remember that my thoughts are just that…MY THOUGHTS and you can either love it or leave it alone. Thank God you guys love it J But how would I have ever known that if never hit publish on my first blog post? My parents always told me to never give up. Even if I don’t get the outcome I was hoping for take the lessons I learned from my attempt and build on them. My parents give some great advice. Thank God for praying parents!

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AS MUCH AS OTHERS BELIEVE IN YOU:

Believing in you can be hard as well. As humans we are so afraid of failing, that we forget how great we can be. What if this is your calling? You have to believe that God brought you this far and will never leave you. He has blessed you with certain abilities to be successful. It doesn’t matter how many people encourage you and say they believe in you. You have to believe in yourself to make it happen. You have to have faith in your own ability to see it through. Just like my daughter, I learned that our biggest fear was not in our ability but fear of letting others down. We care so much for about how our actions will affect other people; we trick ourselves into believing that they will no longer like us or encourage us in the future. I have to remind her that no one is perfect and everyone has to crawl before they walk. I understand that doing a back flip and posting a blog are two entirely different things. The fear is so much greater when you have a room full of people watching you. We have social media, video cameras and screen shots. All these things live for eternity and with my luck someone captures the fall or that typo…oh well, I won’t be the first person who falls or makes a grammatical error and I won’t be the last. Its how you recover that makes all the difference. If people stop supporting you because you weren’t perfect, they aren’t your real friends anyway. Aim to be successful for you and everything else will fall into place.

LET YOUR FEAR BE YOUR BIGGEST MOTIVATOR:

Fear can be used as one of your biggest motivators. It was for me. It reminds me of a gospel song I hear often called “Encourage Yourself” by Donald Lawrence. The first verse goes like this “Sometimes you have to encourage yourself. Sometimes you have to speak victory during the test. And no matter how you feel, speak the word and you will be healed; speak over yourself, encourage yourself in the Lord.” These words are powerful. I mean look at it, when no one is around who is left to motivate you? We have to push ourselves sometimes. Don’t doubt yourself. Use the fear to overcome.

DON’T THINK, JUST DO:

I told my daughter that when the time is right for her to do the back handspring, she won’t even have to think about it. It will come so naturally that she would shock herself. The same went for me when I hit that publish button. I had posts sitting in drafts for months, but that one morning I woke up, logged into my computer and hit post. I didn’t think about it, I just did it. I remember saying “Oh my God I just published my first blog post. Lord let your will be done.” and that was that. The haters will remember your mistakes; your supporters will remember your triumph! So be like that company with the check mark as their logo and “just do it.”

LIVE BLOUNT -ly