Marriage: More Than a Pretty Dress, Fancy Food and Diamond Rings

As I approach my 13th wedding anniversary, I think back over the past 18 years of my life with my husband. I thank God for blessing our union and each year, I know that without Him there would be no us. With the divorce rate at an all-time high, and people throwing around the word marriage like confetti, I can’t help but wonder why people don’t take this union before God more seriously. I mean what are some of the reasons people get married in the first place? It doesn’t seem to be for love anymore either. Everyone has their own reasons for getting married but here’s what I think:

TO PROVE PEOPLE WRONG:

Believe it or not, people get married just to prove other people wrong. I know…how stupid is that! Come on son…those same people you trying to impress or prove wrong, won’t be there when your significant other cheats on you, abuses you or leaves you high and dry. Those same people will be the ones talking about you saying things like “I knew they shouldn’t have gotten married. I only went to the wedding to be nosey.” Blah Blah Blah. Don’t sit here and think that I’m exaggerating…you probably have been one of those people. If you think that getting married, will prove to people you the baddest chick…STOP IT! Getting married won’t prove a thing. If anything, it will just complicate things. If your love is real you won’t have to prove anything to anyone it will show itself.

NOOOOO…YOU WASN’T READYYYYY:

You thought you were ready but when you started thinking about all the life changes, it became overwhelming. Marriage is a BIG DEAL! If you aren’t ready for it, don’t force it! I don’t care how old you are, if you are not ready, you are not ready. Trust your gut. I’m sure your significant other will appreciate you being honest about your feelings. It could save everyone a lot of heartache (and money) in the long-run.

TO PLEASE OTHERS:

I can’t speak for men, but for women, there is this horrible double standard, that we should be married with kids by a certain age. Well that’s not the case. I applaud those that take their time and get married when they are truly ready. Not because their parents or the world says they have to be by a certain age. Like my dad says “that’s a bunch of malarkey.” (Whatever that means LOL) The ones you should be aiming to please are God, yourself and your significant other. Never feel pressured to do anything just because society says you should…especially marriage. Be true to yourself and everything else will fall in place.

TO KEEP UP WITH YOUR FRIENDS:

I hate this one the most…In an earlier post I stated that your whole crew is fabulous and should NEVER BE VIEWED AS COMPETITION… Well that couldn’t be truer when it comes to marriage. Please don’t let your BFF getting engaged or married push you to pop the question or say yes to the question. You must remember that your friends timing is not YOUR timing. That’s how we get in trouble, trying to keep up with others instead of staying on the path God has mapped out for us. Keep your eyes forward and when the time is right God will bless you in ways you never imagined. You never know, God may have the perfect Queen or King waiting for you. If you rush it you may end up with a Joker… (You like how I did that) LOL Anyway, stay the course…your time is coming.

YOU HAD A CHILD TOGETHER:

Well well well….let me just start off by saying that, my husband and I had our daughter before we got married. Neither one of us wanted to get married just because we have a child together. We waited until our babydoll was almost 3 before got married (see Blog Pic). If you grew up in the church like I did, getting pregnant out of wedlock is a big no, no… My mom was disappointed in me and I remember her telling me that I needed to go in front of the church and apologize. That hurt me in ways I don’t think I ever told her. I felt like she was embarrassed of me. I felt like she wanted me to get married before I even had my daughter. I love my mom more than life itself but that was one thing I would not allow myself to feel guilty for. The ONLY person I had to answer to was God. Making the decision to get married when the time was right was worth the wait. We got a chance to really test our love for one another and we waited until God said it was time to get married. Many believe that you should get married for the children because it sets an example of family. Well let me tell you that being married but not happy sets the WRONG example. Our children need to grow up in loving homes. Not homes where the “love” is forced. Kids pick up on EVERYTHING. So if you really love your children, make sure you love each other first before taking the marriage step.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO MY LOVING HUSBAND BECAUSE WITHOUT HIM, I WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO LIVE BLOUNT-ly. Thank you for loving me the way you do! Here’s to many many more anniversaries! I love you Tchecoy Blount!